How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
