It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize