At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize