Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
