im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
