I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
