its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
