I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Randomize
