I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
