i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Do vagina's smell?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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