yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
