careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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