The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just saw a hot homeless man
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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