You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
