I just made out with a guy for $7.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
NoShamevember. You game?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
