Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
