Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
