My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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