I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
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I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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