high people should be assigned attendants
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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