After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
this will be a night to untag.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
