Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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