loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I don't think brook has ever known best
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
