then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
