Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...

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  (330): How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there... http://tfl.nu/bdjq
  Replies (30) Good night (720) Bad night (2230)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone

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  (480): You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone http://tfl.nu/wd7b
  Replies (33) Good night (7674) Bad night (975)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,

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  (214): Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking, http://tfl.nu/jftc
  Replies (6) Good night (3410) Bad night (747)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.

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  (508): This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies." (401): I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are. http://tfl.nu/26v4
  Replies (17) Good night (5212) Bad night (954)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.

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  (503): I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight. http://tfl.nu/rrui
  Replies (8) Good night (2810) Bad night (804)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.

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  (509): Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year. http://tfl.nu/o1qc
  Replies (8) Good night (2019) Bad night (620)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.

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  (678): Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out. http://tfl.nu/slt6
  Replies (8) Good night (492) Bad night (1442)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap

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  (231): Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap http://tfl.nu/aur6
  Replies (9) Good night (507) Bad night (1062)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.

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  (513): Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C. http://tfl.nu/3wtt
  Replies (4) Good night (962) Bad night (641)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Moonshine marathon is never a good idea

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  (757): Moonshine marathon is never a good idea http://tfl.nu/1b2l
  Replies (6) Good night (550) Bad night (356)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.

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  (651): Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room. http://tfl.nu/zu20
  Replies (0) Good night (438) Bad night (267)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked

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  (443): Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked http://tfl.nu/rzkm
  Replies (0) Good night (707) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out

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  (206): Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out http://tfl.nu/3o9i
  Replies (0) Good night (354) Bad night (251)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.

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  (843): After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT. http://tfl.nu/qpcc
  Replies (4) Good night (1010) Bad night (223)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths

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  (407): someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths http://tfl.nu/lsy3
  Replies (0) Good night (387) Bad night (197)

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