Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.