Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/3fqs
  Replies (27) Good night (3573) Bad night (1056)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol http://tfl.nu/nbdg
  Replies (28) Good night (6069) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (381): View more from

  I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (381): I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore. http://tfl.nu/l0iw
  Replies (15) Good night (1496) Bad night (3345)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night. http://tfl.nu/apjs
  Replies (14) Good night (4588) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me. http://tfl.nu/xwbe
  Replies (8) Good night (945) Bad night (3617)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand

  (1-856): View more from New Jersey

  We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand (1-856): We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh? http://tfl.nu/4r62
  Replies (10) Good night (1020) Bad night (5349)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost. http://tfl.nu/jb2u
  Replies (15) Good night (4337) Bad night (990)
• Favorite

  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+64): I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable. http://tfl.nu/t0un
  Replies (4) Good night (2476) Bad night (1169)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious http://tfl.nu/qfwe
  Replies (3) Good night (2578) Bad night (747)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap" http://tfl.nu/nk79
  Replies (6) Good night (4001) Bad night (869)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar. http://tfl.nu/ei6k
  Replies (2) Good night (1550) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY" http://tfl.nu/isd1
  Replies (7) Good night (1953) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die. http://tfl.nu/9u75
  Replies (3) Good night (876) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher. http://tfl.nu/v6bw
  Replies (2) Good night (930) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much. http://tfl.nu/d22a
  Replies (1) Good night (317) Bad night (412)

Randomize