love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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