If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
