There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed