Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.

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  (631): Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life. http://tfl.nu/pg4a
  Replies (2) Good night (1085) Bad night (3125)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?

  (1-334): View more from Alabama

  You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.

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  (334): Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating? (1-334): You are proof that most things are best left unsaid. http://tfl.nu/quhe
  Replies (31) Good night (1077) Bad night (5181)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.

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  (434): question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically. http://tfl.nu/0m41
  Replies (44) Good night (1154) Bad night (5762)
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  (310): View more from California

  Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...

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  (310): Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me... http://tfl.nu/5b54
  Replies (9) Good night (4912) Bad night (813)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.

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  (860): when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage. http://tfl.nu/ckot
  Replies (212) Good night (925) Bad night (10674)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.

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  (314): Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced. http://tfl.nu/yqud
  Replies (14) Good night (6362) Bad night (941)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.

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  (518): our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here. http://tfl.nu/908w
  Replies (5) Good night (3469) Bad night (942)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.

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  (810): She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room. http://tfl.nu/nven
  Replies (3) Good night (999) Bad night (1465)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.

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  (573): Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home. http://tfl.nu/anic
  Replies (8) Good night (630) Bad night (1652)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.

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  (304): He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away. http://tfl.nu/477o
  Replies (2) Good night (1339) Bad night (614)
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  (925): View more from California

  My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage

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  (925): My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage http://tfl.nu/o4i9
  Replies (9) Good night (1120) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass

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  (336): I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass http://tfl.nu/ok5m
  Replies (3) Good night (463) Bad night (1083)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now

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  (619): If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now http://tfl.nu/lp2e
  Replies (4) Good night (385) Bad night (615)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...

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  (479): I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns... http://tfl.nu/3zef
  Replies (2) Good night (643) Bad night (312)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe

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  (617): I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe http://tfl.nu/6675
  Replies (2) Good night (527) Bad night (170)

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