hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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