I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
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My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
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Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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