and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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