You smell like a Billy Joel song
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
