So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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long story
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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