I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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