Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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