I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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