wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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