also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize