Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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