high people should be assigned attendants
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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