New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
