they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
