I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
