He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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