You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
