Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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