I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
