i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
