sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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