I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
