it wasn't lemon gatorade
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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