therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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