Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
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we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
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Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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