Screwed.edu
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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