dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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