I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
