We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
