i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
