I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
