you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
