I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
