I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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