I think i sorta joined a cult last night
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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