you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
