Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
