If that was your dad, he is hot
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
They have beer where we have blood.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
