I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
