i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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