Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
They took my balls.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
