Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
