Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."

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(440): Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect." http://tfl.nu/c4jw

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(425): View more from Washington

he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.

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(425): he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis. http://tfl.nu/d5v8

Replies (23) Good night (921) Bad night (5277)
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(571): View more from Virginia

I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.

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(571): I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad. http://tfl.nu/ovcp

Replies (48) Good night (5334) Bad night (1815)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat

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(270): Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat http://tfl.nu/vugk

Replies (8) Good night (3607) Bad night (1094)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.

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(304): For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea. http://tfl.nu/eupz

Replies (10) Good night (2402) Bad night (1350)
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(209): View more from California

found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.

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(209): found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised. http://tfl.nu/cxq4

Replies (7) Good night (1191) Bad night (3942)
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(914): View more from New York

this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.

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(914): this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute. http://tfl.nu/nd35

Replies (23) Good night (1467) Bad night (3242)
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(417): View more from Missouri

There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.

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(417): There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy. http://tfl.nu/lepd

Replies (18) Good night (3546) Bad night (987)
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(708): View more from Illinois

I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon

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(708): I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon http://tfl.nu/l3g6

Replies (2) Good night (1225) Bad night (641)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.

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(604): Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features. http://tfl.nu/e715

Replies (10) Good night (1988) Bad night (727)
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(862): View more from New Jersey

Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.

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(862): Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons. http://tfl.nu/bh45

Replies (16) Good night (2682) Bad night (986)
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(585): View more from New York

If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.

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(585): If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang. http://tfl.nu/cb2r

Replies (5) Good night (859) Bad night (450)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score

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(717): I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score http://tfl.nu/bx9v

Replies (1) Good night (433) Bad night (320)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!

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(808): just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell! http://tfl.nu/l3nk

Replies (1) Good night (212) Bad night (381)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.

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(773): Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out. http://tfl.nu/twyl

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