Texts From Last Night

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  (817): View more from Texas

  If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.

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  (817): If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral. http://tfl.nu/qqbj
  Replies (13) Good night (3134) Bad night (623)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.

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  (850): I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off. http://tfl.nu/irzu
  Replies (22) Good night (2925) Bad night (630)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  How bad was it?

  (1-713): View more from Texas

  You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth

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  (713): How bad was it? (1-713): You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth http://tfl.nu/i16m
  Replies (23) Good night (5113) Bad night (688)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.

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  (732): I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents. http://tfl.nu/w4fz
  Replies (15) Good night (4974) Bad night (1006)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook

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  (614): I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook http://tfl.nu/v6tz
  Replies (12) Good night (612) Bad night (3902)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree

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  (561): Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree http://tfl.nu/oe6w
  Replies (32) Good night (8019) Bad night (1044)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.

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  (713): I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now. http://tfl.nu/lp4s
  Replies (34) Good night (1855) Bad night (4365)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious

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  (203): She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious http://tfl.nu/rvtf
  Replies (35) Good night (4777) Bad night (2528)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.

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  (410): you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship. http://tfl.nu/fcev
  Replies (5) Good night (2336) Bad night (1056)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.

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  (317): You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order. http://tfl.nu/45qd
  Replies (7) Good night (797) Bad night (1591)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha

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  (402): I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha http://tfl.nu/npx2
  Replies (9) Good night (1324) Bad night (461)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck

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  (816): I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck http://tfl.nu/awst
  Replies (2) Good night (278) Bad night (814)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.

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  (269): I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive. http://tfl.nu/3jo8
  Replies (2) Good night (352) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia

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  (248): I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia http://tfl.nu/wvuh
  Replies (3) Good night (260) Bad night (794)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash

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  (330): he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash http://tfl.nu/b2o7
  Replies (0) Good night (628) Bad night (299)

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