i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor